All About Anal – a quick guide to safe anal play.

No matter what our gender is or how we identify sexually, there’s one thing each and every one of us has in common; we all have a butt. And for the majority of us, our butts will respond favourably (to say the least) to sexual stimulation. No, it’s not everyone’s idea of a good time, but for those of us who fancy it, safe anal play can be the bringer of some incredible orgasms. If it’s something new to you, you might be a bit weary. Our entire lives we’re taught that the back passage is exit only so the idea of using it as an entrance can be a bit nerve wracking at first. You’ll probably have numerous questions, and rightly so. Those who don’t take a moment to find out how to do it right are quite possibly going to do it wrong.

Here are some answers to a few common questions:

Does anal hurt?

If you go from nought to sixty without giving it some thought, yes. Yes, it does hurt. A lot. Even though anal is awesome, you do need to take a few things into consideration before you even pull your pants down.

First thing you need?

Lube. Unless you’re a masochist of the highest order you’ll need a good quality lube. If you’re not using toys you can pick any type you like, but if toys are involved water-based is often best. Anal lubes tend to be thicker and offer more cushioning than standard lubes do. Apply to the penetrating object as well as the anal opening itself. Once you’re lubed up, the next thing to consider is size. If you’ve never ever put anything up there in your life, the best thing to start with is a finger. A little finger. Make sure you’re relaxed to loosen your sphincter, which is a muscle. Keep your nails short and take it easy. If you like what you feel, try thrusting or wiggling your finger. Feel out your pleasure spots. If you don’t like it at any point, stop. If someone else is doing the penetrating they should take it slowly. They should pay close attention to their partner, gauging their reactions and noting their comfort levels. Be verbal about how things feel. Feedback from both parties is important. When you’re ready, move to a different finger. Then a different one, then a thumb, then two fingers. Gradually increasing size prevents pain, which usually comes from the stretch. Yeah, bigger things than fingers come out of the anus all the time, but folks are usually relaxed when that’s occurring. Many people are tense during the early stages of anal exploration, so try to relax, take it slowly and let yourself enjoy it.

Is anal play safe?

If you adhere to a few sensible rules it is. As mentioned above, using lube and being aware of your own personal size limits prevents not only discomfort, but also wounds. Yep, if you’re too dry of if you try to stuff in something you’re not ready for, you run the risk of tearing. And if you’re using toys it’s vital that you choose something with a flared base. Just because a toy has ‘anal’ or ‘butt’ in its name it doesn’t automatically make it anal safe. There are toys out there that are as straight as rulers, or that have insertable portions that are the same size as, if not bigger than, their base. You need a base that’s slightly larger than the toy to anchor it outside of the body. The last thing anyone wants is to have to haul ass to A&E to explain that their toy got sucked or pushed inside them during play and could some nice surgeon please remove it. Rabbits, toys with suction cup bases or a scrotum, or plugs with good, solid bases are all perfectly safe to experiment with.

Is anal sex hygienic?

If you stick to a few basic rules then, yes, it is. Even though you might see it happen a lot in porn, something most folk avoid is ass to vagina. It doesn’t matter if you douche or have an enema, the anal cavity will always be a bacterium ridden orifice. Transferring that bacteria to the vagina can result in infection. If the idea of this switching up approach gets you off it would be best to have a few condoms to hand. I’d also recommend condoms for those who want to share either their penis or their toys with multiple people during play. And after play, be it solo, partnered, or party play, all anal toys should be thoroughly washed to rid them of any nasties. Some toys – like silicone dildos – can be bleached or boiled to keep them sterilised. Motorised toys can’t be cleaned this way, so many folks use soapy water if the toy is waterproof, or toy wipes and sprays if it isn’t. Something you should keep in mind is that silicone toys will nearly always cling to scents, so don’t freak out if you can’t shift the butt smell on your favourite plug. It is clean, it just…whiffs now.

Does wanting/liking anal make me gay?

It beggars belief that this rather homophobic question still gets asked in this day and age, but it does. And the answer will always be a resounding NO. The anus is one of the most pleasure packed parts of the human body. Many people report that the orgasms they’ve had which included anal stimulation were more powerful than vaginal, clitoral, or penile. And that’s just from penetration. Don’t forget, penis owners, your prostate is located inside of your anus. For some, that little nugget of awesome can be the match that ignites some serious fireworks. Don’t let antediluvian stereotypes rob you of something so potentially incredible.

Do you want to know what does make you gay?

Nature. If you are, you are, if you’re not, you’re not, if you’re something else then you’re that. You are whatever you identify as. A sex act – even one between two men – does not determine your sexuality.